I've been waiting for my thoughts to settle
but to no avail...
my mind is like swift moving water
murky with the disturbed sediment.
When I first approached Xie's writing I was intimidated...
Awed by the order of it
the clarity of her thoughts
the brevity of her expression
which states so eloquently that which is so challenging for me to be able to focus on
Xie's poem TO BE A GOOD BUDDIST IS ENSNAREMENT
fills me with wonder and speaks to both my spirit and galloping mind
"In order to stop resisting, I must not attempt to stop resisting...
Nothing can surprise
Clarity is just questioning having eaten its fill."
it was when I found The Self is a Fiction: Jenny Xie Interviewed by Miriam Rhamani that I finally found an entry to this collection (Yes, I later discovered that our wise professor had included it in our syllabus-but what can I say-)
I resonated so deeply with this conversation between friends, colleagues, peers- they shared the bound of their educational setting,internships of teaching English in China of being persons of color.. the feminine or the intersectionality of "femininist gaze." I started seeing patterns which emerged-the themes- I reflected on what might the experience of returning to China to teach English been like for Xie..what was it have been like to move here as a child...how this may be echoed in her works
I also found myself curious about Xie's experience spending seasons in Phnom Penh- and the work began to reveal itself to me. I have traveled most of my life-which in my case meant I was a stranger when I arrived and only slightly less strange when I departed-
but there is luxury to be found in this solitude...as no one knows you, temporarily you may find yourself...to spend time with yourself...and to see yourself outside of the context by which you may have been framed by those around you...by the image of familial or social norms you either adopt or resist...rereading her travel poems uncovered more and more facets of her ability and shown a light in the dark, dusty corners of self.
I also really enjoyed Jenny Xie's notes on her poems, pg. 79...they led me on an amazing journey but I'll share that with you all on Thursday ;)
"but there is luxury to be found in this solitude...as no one knows you, temporarily you may find yourself...to spend time with yourself...and to see yourself outside of the context by which you may have been framed by those around you"
ReplyDeleteYes! That's such a good way of putting it. Xie's poems about the external world actually allow for such exploration of the self. And I hadn't thought about this way until you said it, but maybe some of the wisdom of the poems comes directly from that solitude / displacement, because it actually allows for a deep kind of self-knowing, even if on the surface the self may feel "empty" and void of a form....
It's so interesting that she grounds her work in travel and seems rootless. The solitude and the movement make her family shadows in these worlds. I can see how you connected.
ReplyDeletee
"When I first approached Xie's writing I was intimidated...
ReplyDeleteAwed by the order of it
the clarity of her thoughts
the brevity of her expression
which states so eloquently that which is so challenging for me to be able to focus on"
I felt the same way. Most of the time when i write poetry I'm kind of trusting the process and letting go. When I read jenny's work it is very wise and also very confidence in its words something I am curious about in her writing process bc it is so beautiful.